


painful farewell

by rrroginaaa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Character Death, Death, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rrroginaaa/pseuds/rrroginaaa
Summary: no matter the day, toru oikawa's life was filled with dark clouds and rain.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 8





	painful farewell

**Author's Note:**

> minor spoilers for time skip oikawa

The days were always dark for Toru Oikawa. He doesn’t remember the last time he was genuinely happy; his world seemed to fall apart at every breath he took. He felt guilty and he blamed himself, though he knew it wasn’t his fault for what happened. The visits to the cemetery were bittersweet. He hated seeing the name engraved into the stone of the plaque that rested above where his love was buried. 

Everything seemed to remind him of her. The smell of the flowers, the snow that would fall during the winter, the stars in the sky; nothing failed to keep (name) on his mind. He walked with the large bouquet of lilies in his hand, the hood of his jacket concealing the tears that were already cascading down his cheeks. The sun was beginning to set and rain was starting to fall, but he needed to see her.

As Toru walked, he thought about how much (name) affected him. He began pushing himself when playing volleyball, vowing to go to nationals for her; and then they lost. He blamed his sadness, his knee, his weak sportsmanship, his bad leadership skills. He blamed himself and he beat himself up for it. He pushed his friends away and he let himself get consumed with the pain that clouded his mind for months after her death. 

He felt the wet grass beneath his shoes as he walked towards (name)’s headstone. Once he stood in front of it, he let the tears fall freely. He placed the flowers on the ground to grab a blanket out of his bag to sit on.

“Hey, (name).” He said, placing himself on the cloth and crossing his legs. He wiped his tears away to no avail, a fresh wave coming to replace the old. 

“I miss you like crazy, babe. All the damn time.” He chokes out, ruffling his hair in frustration. He continues to talk to the grave marker, about his day and how he had almost skipped school as a whole to sit with her instead.

“I’m leaving for Argentina.” He whispers. “I know you’ll be in my heart, but I won't be visiting often once I do.” 

“I know you’re proud of me, though. You always were.” He thinks back to her bright smile as she cheered him on in the stands at all of his games, or how she still supported him even after he hurt his knee. He sobs, the familiar squeeze of his heart shaking him in a way nothing ever had before.

Toru stayed with (name) until late into the night. He adjusts the bouquet so they sit neatly in front of the headstone, kissing the top of it as a goodbye. He folded his blanket up and slung his backpack onto his shoulder.

He left with a heavy feeling in his chest still, knowing he’d come back the next night to repeat the process. As he walked home and the rain continued to pour, he realized one thing that remained the same from before he met (name) and after she had passed away; he was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> i mainly wrote this for a good friend of mine, since she specifically told me not to write toru angst. she cried over this by the way. if i could put pictures here, you'd see her tear-streaked face as she glares at me. she yelled at me through text over this, too. she can suck it up! i listened to 'give me a minute' by lizzy mcalpine. i'm not good at writing angst because leaving the ending sad is never easy for me. also, the reader's dead, so this wasn't an easy feat. i hope you enjoyed anyway!


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